a HaPPy Life

Happiness, we say, is a choice. Happy people understand this, while unhappy people struggle with judging themselves for not being able to easily shift to a happy state of mind.The first step towards moving into a happy state is to understand that happiness is something we need to learn and, for some reason (that we will not discuss here), school teaches everything else but happiness. Use the "school of life" to practice happiness and remember that your "choice muscle" needs to be active all the time. Always notice you have options in everything you do, think or feel, and that you choose the things that are best for you.Here are some specific tips you can blend into your every day:

Smile a lot - If smiling is too hard for you, take a pencil and hold it with your teeth. There are enough smiling muscles involved for your brain to think you are smiling and start producing "happy" chemicals
Sing! - Singing works just like smiling, causing your body to produce "feeling good" chemicals. Sing in the car, sing in the shower, sing when you prepare dinner and sing when you feel frustrated and notice how the negative feelings melt away.
Hang around positive people - Having happy people around ou will make it easy to learn happiness. Happy people have fun around them and their ability to overcome challenges is higher than that of unhappy people who tend to lay blame and feel victimised. Choose the people you hang out with to suit your needs.
Laugh - Much like smiling, laughter is a great way to oveRcome physical and emotional challenges. If it does not happen naturally, try laughter therapy.
Get a move on - Being physically active makes you happy. Find some activity you like to do and notice how it changes your mood: sex (yes, of course!), any kind of sport, dance and yoga. Make a habit of being active in any way you feel like.
Get creative - Creativity is a great way to find happiness. Think of creative things people do for a living or as hobby and notice how much happiness it gives them. Paint, draw, dance, sculpt, do some craft, invent a gadget, cook something new, write poetry or tend the garden. Tap into your creative abilities and find your "happy spot".
Hug - Hugging is a way to give and receive happiness. Physical touch is essential to your development and hugging is a great way to get that physical touch in a positive way. Hug a lot!
When in a conflict situation, remember that being happy and being right do not necessarily go hand in hand. When in doubt, choose happiness over being right.
When feeling down, recite to yourself "This too shall pass" and imagine a brighter future.
Act like a child - Do childish things to feel young and fresh: jump on a trampoline, sit on a swing and skip. Remember, "We do not stop playing because we grow old. We grow old because we stop playing".
Be kind - Do random acts of kindness every day. It can be as simple as saying something nice, offering help, giving up your place in a queue or allowing another driver to enter a busy road.

Be grateful - Practice gratitude: say thank you for everything you have and appreciate in your life. Gratitude is a way to increase happiness and eliminate taking life for granted.
Meditate! - Find a relaxation you feel comfortable with. Meditation relaxes the mind. You can listen to music, use crystals, take a bath, use candles or repeat a mantra. All of these do the same thing to your mind. Take the time off every day to regenerate yourself

oVeRcOmE DepreSSion

WAY TO OVERCOME DEPRESSION

There are many ways you can overcome depression that work very well. The most important thing to remember is that you can control your thoughts and feelings. You can learn to change habitual thoughts and feelings that bring on the moods of depression.

One of the best ways to combat depression is to stay active. Find activities that you enjoy and seek out new interest. People are usually depressed when they have nothing to do. Get active in your community, join a bowling league, take a class at your local community college, volunteer your time to an organization, or take up a new hobby such as stamp collecting or crocheting.

Busy yourself with things you enjoy doing.

Be positive! When life lets you down, make a list of the good things in your life. Even the small ones count. The list can include such things as your family, your friends, your job, your back yard, your health, and even your ability to grill or cook. List items that you are good at doing. You may think grilling a steak to perfection is no big deal, but I have no idea how to grill a steak without it being leather. So, that is a feat to be proud of. On this list put every little thing. Now, when you feel depression coming on, take out this list and read it over and over again. This may help you with your self worth.

Do not let others cause your depression! You can allow others to hurt your emotions, or anger you and this can also bring on depression. Remember the person that is negative is not you! Do not let their moods influence your emotions. So, what they don't like your shirt, they don't like the way you cooked breakfast, or they have some other complaint. You like your shirt, you enjoyed breakfast, and their complaints are just that, complaints without any merit. I am not saying to ignore others, but don't let them drag you down

Don't sit around by yourself! Being alone and idle can bring on major bouts of depression. Everyone enjoys having others around whether in a small group, one on one, or big social functions. Get out in the world. Find like minded friends and family to occupy those times.

If you are still having problems with depression and just can't seem to rid your life of these feelings it would be advisable to visit your doctor. There could be a medical reason that is causing your depression such as prescribed medicines, menopause, or other illnesses.

sIgNs YOuR boyFriEnd IS a Gay

SiGNs YOUr BoYfRieND IS A gAY!!!

If you think your boyfriend is gay, watch out for signs. Most gay people share things that are unique or, at least, distinct to them. You have to remember, however, that these signs are a bit stereotypical. These are not absolute. If you see these signs on your boyfriend, it doesn’t necessarily mean that he is gay or bisexual. Not seeing these signs doesn’t mean that he is not, either. Again, playing detective is a tricky business. But hey, give it a shot. Here are the top 10 signs that your boyfriend belongs to the fabulous federation.
The Bathroom Rituals

Pay attention to his grooming habits. Notice how he meticulously does his hair. Try to find out how he chose the grooming products he owns. An average guy doesn’t care about what brand or what type of products he uses. Is he particularly interested in top designer shoes and other accessories? Another warning sign is the time he spends inside the bathroom. If he takes longer than you do, that may be a sign that he is playing for the other team.
The Diva Fanaticism
People always consider gay guys to be fans of many divas. If your boyfriend likes listening to divas such as Whitney Houston, Mariah Carey, Celine Dion, Barbra Streisand and (God forbid) Cher, then he might be one flaming gay man. Have you ever seen your boyfriend listening to any of these divas’ records? Or worse, have you ever heard him singing any of their songs? And if he indeed sings their songs, does he do it in falsetto? If your answer is yes, then that could be a sign.
The Beauty Pageant Obsession
For some reason, gay guys love watching beauty pageants as far as stereotypes are concerned. These events are a celebration of beauty and glamor that many gay people really value. Of course, your boyfriend won’t let his fascination to beauty pageant be known but if you really want to know, here’s a quick tip. While talking about another topic, ask this question out of the blue: Oh by the way, who was the 1999 Miss Universe? If he is able to give you an answer, be scared girl. Be very scared. Gay people also love awards shows such as the Oscars, the Golden Globe, Emmy, Grammy and many others.
The Shifty Eyes
Another excellent way to know if your boyfriend is gay is by simply observing his eyes. Yep, it’s all in the eyes. The next time you two are walking in a mall or around a local park with numerous people, notice how his eyes move. Some gay people let their eyes wander and jump from one guy to another. Notice how he shifts his vision when a hot man passes by. If his eyes are shifty when he is around men, he might be gay.
The Urinal Dilemma
A closeted gay man also feels uncomfortable and uneasy around straight guy friends as he tries hard not to make his concealed sexuality to show. In a public men’s room, a closeted gay man is also uncomfortable using any empty urinal when other straight men are using the ones near his. Often, instead of using the urinals, he would go inside the cubicle and just pee into the toilet bowl.
The Fashion Compliments
Your boyfriend might be gay if he gives you too much compliments in a very unmanly way. For example, instead of saying “You look beautiful,” he goes “I like the way your top matches the tan-ness of your skin and oh, your boots are so fetch.” If you hear that from your boyfriend, don’t feel glad. You might just have a gay partner.
The Downright Gay-bashing
Gay people hiding inside the closet are usually very vocal about their distaste and hatred for gay men. While it seems a little counterintuitive, there is a reason why they do it. Because they don’t want to be caught or be suspected that they are members of the third sex, they would cover their true identity by blatantly expressing their rage against gay men. They also tend to overdo this; thus, they become harsh gay-bashers. If your boyfriend is like that, then he might be gay. As one adage goes, the greatest homophobe is homosexual.
. The Beautiful Strangers
Check out his Myspace page. One of the most definitive signs that your boyfriend is gay is that there are some male strangers in his Myspace list of friends or contacts. If you have never seen these men or you don’t know whether they are your boyfriend’s friends in person, they might just had their communication online. An average straight guy won’t view, much less add to his list of contacts, a man he doesn’t know personally. It’s not just Myspace, browse through his Facebook or Friendster page and see if you can find some. Or worse, research and try to find out if he has accounts in gay networking sites. You can also check your browser’s history to see if he has visited any gay adult site on the web.

BuilT Up SeLf ConfideNce

BUILT UP YOUR SELF CONFIDENCE

DO YOU THINNK THAT YOU ARE LACK OF SELF CONFIDENCE?

If YEs... let just follow the step below..

may be it will help you to be more confidence than before..

The first step is recognize your insecurities.What does that voice in back of your mind say ? What makes you ashamed of yourself? This could be anything from acne, to regrets, or friends. Whatever that making you ashamed, feel unworthy, or inferior, identify it,and write it down.you can also tear these written pieces to start feeling positive on those points.

Secondly,Talk about it with friend and love one.WEar it on your sleeve.there is no quick fix. get to the root of the problem,focus on it and understand that you need to resolve it before you move on.You need to accept yourself , your past, you circumstance as there are without necessarily thinking of them as 'bad'

Always remember that no one is perfect.Even the most confident people have insecurities.At some point in any of our live, we may feel lack of something.That is reality.Learn that life is full of bumps down the road.

Be thankful for what you have. A lot of the times, at the root of insecurity and lack of confidence is a feeling of not having enough of something, whether it's emotional validation, good luck, money, etc. By acknowledging and appreciating what you do have, you can combat the feeling of being incomplete and unsatisfied. Finding that inner peace will do wonders for your confidence.
Next,always be positive even if you don't feel the same way. Avoid self-pity, or the pity and sympathy of others. Never allow others to make you feel inferior-they can only do so if you let them. If you continue to loathe and belittle yourself, others are going to do and believe likewise. Instead, speak positively about yourself, about your future, and about your progress. Do not be afraid to project your strengths and qualities to others. By doing so, you reinforce those ideas in your mind and encourage your growth in a positive direction.
Try to accept complimentsgracefully. Don't roll your eyes and say, "Yeah, right," or shrug it off. Take it to heart and respond positively ("Thank you" and a smile works well).
Look in the mirror and smile. Studies surrounding what's called the "facial feedback theory" suggest that the expressions on your face can actually encourage your brain to register certain emotions. So by looking in the mirror and smiling every day, you might feel happier with yourself and more confident in the long run.
Try talk to yourself.
I am gorgeous, huh?Fake it. Along the same lines of smiling to make yourself feel happy, acting confident might actually make you believe it. Pretend you're a completely confident version of you; go through the motions and see how you feel!
Stick to your principles. It might be tough, but if you don't have something you can believe in, you don't have anything. If you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything. No matter what's happened in your life, you can always lay claim to the fact that from this day forward, you've followed your principles to the best of your ability.
Lastly,help others. When you know you're kind to the people around you, and are making a positive difference in other people's lives (even if it's just being kinder to the person who serves you coffee in the morning), you'll know that you are a positive force in the world--which will boost your self confidence.

SeLf HarMIng

SElF HarMing

Self-harm happens when someone hurts or harms themselves. They may:


• take too many tablets;
• cut themselves;
• burn their body;
• bang their head;
• throw their body against something hard;
• punch themselves;
• stick things in their body;
• swallow inappropriate objects.



What makes people self-Harm?





Emotional distress – people often struggle with difficulties for some time before they self-harm:


• feeling depressed;
• feeling bad about yourself
• relationship problems with partners, friends, and family.

• How can I help myself ?
  When you want to harm yourself
  The feelings of self-harm go away after a while. If you can cope with your upset without self-harming for a time, it will get easier over the next few hours. You can:
  
• Talk to someone – if you are on your own perhaps phone a friend.
• If the person you are with is making you feel worse, go out.
• Distract yourself by going out, singing or listening to music, or by doing anything (harmless) that interests you.
• Relax and focus your mind on something pleasant – your very own personal comforting place.
• Find another way to express your feelings such as squeezing ice cubes (which you can make with red juice to mimic blood if the sight of blood is important), or just drawing red lines on your skin.
• Give yourself some 'harmless pain' - eat a hot chilli, or have a cold shower.
• Focus in your mind on positives.
• Be kind to yourself – get a massage.
• Write a diary or a letter, to explain what is happening to you – no one else needs to see it.
  



It can be very upsetting to be close to someone who self-harms - but there are things you can do. The most important is to listen to them without judging them or being critical. This can be very hard if you are upset - and perhaps angry - about what they are doing. Try to concentrate on them rather than your own feelings – although this can be hard.





Do..


• Talk to them when they feel like self-harming. Try to understand their feelings, and then move the conversation to other things.
• Take some of the mystery out of self-harm by helping them find out about self-harm perhaps on the internet at the local library.
• Find out about getting help - maybe go with them to see someone.
• Help them to think about their self-harm not as a shameful secret, but as a problem to be sorted out.

Always be there...

AllahuAkbar....
If you ask me about love
And what i know about it
My answer would be
It's everything about ALLAH
The pure love, to ou souls
The creator of you and me,
the heaven and whole universe
The onethat made us whole and free
The guardian of HIS true believers
So when time is hard
There no way to turn
As HE promise He will always be there
And bless us with HIS love and HIS mercy
coz,as HE promise HE will always be there...
HE's always wathcing us, guiding us
And HE knows what's in all in our heart

So when you lose your way
To ALLAh you should turn
As HE promise HE will always be there...
HE bring ourselves from the darkness into the light
Subhannallah praise belong to YOU for everything
Shoul'n never feel afraid of anything
As long as we follow HIS guidance all the way
Through the short time we have in this life
Soon it all'll be over
And we'll be in HIS heaven and we'll all be fine..